Sunday, April 1, 2012

Who takes care of you?

Since Barry was born, I've continued to take pretty good care of myself.   All things I enjoy, I can do with Barry, or while he's sleeping.  But rarely do I get to go out and have time for me.  .... Let me rephrase that: Rarely do I allow myself to go out and have time for me.  But I'm getting better. After a few weeks of feeling angry with my husband for going out with friends once a week, I realized that my anger was totally unjustified.  I too, have the ability to leave the house for an hour or two.  My baby needs me, but I need me too!  I don't have to feel like a bad mom if I go out for coffee with a friend, or get a massage.
I'm sure every new mother experiences a time when she believes she's the ONLY one who can care for her baby; it's a powerful feeling to be the sole caregiver.  Moms, you may not know this, but fathers are totally capable of sharing the "babyload" when they're home.  They don't have boobs, but they can still offer comfort to baby (and mom!), change diapers, do laundry etc, etc, ETC!  They have as much responsibility for the baby and household chores as mom does.  Please, give them some credit! 
Taking care of yourself by doing things that make you feel happy will make the whole family happier.  But, of course, coming home to Barry is the most exciting part of my day!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Nice People: the story of a lost blanket

   A few weeks ago, Barry and I went to the Capitol Building to encourage State Representatives to support a Bill promising more protection for Midwives in Missouri and insurance coverage for people choosing to have a home birth.  We took cookies and talked to a lot of nice Legislative Assistants.  When it was time to go, I discovered I had misplaced Barry's cowboy blanket.  We looked all over the place and couldn't find it.  I gave my name and address to a few people in case it turned up, but I wasn't expecting to see it ever again.
   We are quite fond of horses and all things "Old West" in our household, and we got this blanket as a gift from Nana, complete with a matching hat and onesie.  When we got home from our outing, I emailed the company where it came from Mad Boy Los Angeles explained what happened and a request to order another blanket (I couldn't find their blankets on the website, I think it was a special holiday deal if you ordered clothes).  It turns out, they were as upset as I was and, after a few comforting emails, they overnighted us a new blanket for free!  
   The day we received the new blanket, I was contacted by someone who found the Original blanket at the Capitol letting me know they were sending me the original lost blanket. 
How amazing!  I love nice people.  


Friday, January 13, 2012

Barry's Birth

Early Labor began on Saturday Dec 17 in the late morning.  After a whole day of contractions, things died down in the evening.
I had a massage on Tuesday and my therapist taught me some acupressure points to induce labor.  During the massage I had a psychic moment with my child.  I could feel him thinking and prepare himself for something big.  Almost as if he was saying, “I’m ready!”
Early labor began again on Wednesday December 21.  We spent the day getting our Christmas gifts ready, walking, and dancing to Van Morrison.  Thursday, the Winter Solstice! My contractions were still happening regularly, although spaced far apart.  Jacob and I got up early that morning; we knew Barry was coming soon! A fire was lit in the fireplace, we went out to welcome the Sun, and spent the day napping and enjoying each other’s company.  We took a walk and climbed the biggest hills in the neighborhood.  Contractions began to get more intense and closer together.
8:00pm  Dec. 22
That night, Jacob read a book out loud to help me take my mind off the contractions, but it wasn’t working.  He called the Midwives and our Doula and told them I was close to active labor.  We went to bed and tried to sleep.  A few hours later, I had a pretty huge contraction and felt something burst behind my cervix; it felt like a small warm water balloon.  Jacob called everyone again.
11:00pm Dec 22           
My Doula asked if I needed anything.  “Oranges!” I exclaimed.  She arrived just in time.  I was beginning to feel really out of control and unable to manage the pain.  The Doula showed Jacob where to press on my lower back, reminded me to keep my voice low in my abdomen, and started putting cold washcloths on my neck.
… I had forgotten about the oranges.
12:00am Dec 23
When the Midwives arrived, I was already feeling the urge to push.  I was soothed by the calm attitude everyone brought to the room.  No one was rushing, and everyone was being quiet and helpful.  They asked if I wanted them to check my dilation, but I wasn’t in the mood to stay in one position for that long, let alone lay on my back for a contraction.  A few hours into it, my water broke with a big gush. I guess the first burst was just a leak?  By this point, I tuned everything out, with the exception of helpful advice.  I spent a lot of time pushing on the toilet and on the birthing chair.
My birth team kept saying “good job!”, and “that’s it!”   This gave me the impression he was crowning, but when I reached down to feel him and discovered his head was still way up there, I got a little discouraged.  I kept pushing, but was getting tired.  I started to fall asleep between my contractions.
My Doula spoon-fed me some honey, and I eagerly took it.  That was the energy boost I needed to continue to give strong pushes.  Finally, the baby started crowning.  I was glad to start feeling what everyone calls “the ring of fire”.  It hurt like hell, but at least I knew he was almost here.  Jacob took a peek and saw his head coming out.  The enthusiasm and emotion in Jacob's voice when he told me Barry had hair was another energy boost to bring Barry into the world.  I was pushing on the birthing chair and began to say “Yes!”  The positivity made everything more bearable.
4:43am Dec. 23
After several long minutes, Barry’s head came out, along with his tiny fist pressed against his temple.  After his shoulders, I thought the rest of him would just slide right out, but I had to keep pushing him all the way.  When he came out, I was helped onto the bed and Barry was set onto my chest.  He kept sliding up to my chin and all I could do was laugh as he found a comfortable position to rest his head.  He was grunting and lifting his head to look around.  I was so happy that the end result of all that work was lying on my chest and we were both alive and healthy!
The placenta came out with a few more light pushes.  It felt warm and oozy as it came out and it was such a relief; labor was over.  I lost a lot of blood, so I was asked to hold off on nursing for a bit while I got my strength back.  I had an orange and more spoonfuls of honey.  A frozen Shakespeare’s pizza was put in the oven, and I had some of that too.  When I could sit up without feeling dizzy, I was helped into a warm bath to clean up. Jacob got to bond with Barry, while I ate more pizza in the tub.
I came back to bed and the midwives measured and weighed Barry. He was 10lb. 22” long! I nursed him for the first time and he latched on like a pro! The next goal was for me to pee, I hadn’t done that since active labor began.  Not peeing was frustrating, they tried to catheterize me, but I was too swollen, they couldn’t find my pee hole! After nursing, I was helped back to the tub and took a fresh bath.  I tinkled a little on the toilet, it was more like a dribble, but it was something!
10:20am  Dec. 23
When the Midwives were confident that I was all right, they cleaned up and left us to rest and marvel at our perfect baby.
Afterthoughts
It was an incredible experience; my birth team was amazing!  When it really started getting heavy, my instincts turned off my thinking brain and I went with what felt right.  When I was entering active labor, if I would have had a nice nurse put their hand on my shoulder and gently say “Would you like some drugs dear?”, I probably would have caved and said yes. But since I didn’t have a choice, my endorphins kicked in and I forgot about anything other than the task at hand.
Barry only lost 6 ounces and was 6 ounces over his birth weight when the midwives weighed him on their 4 day visit.  What a chunk! 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Long time no see!

     A lot has happened since my last post.  Right around Christmas 2010, I did a marketing campaign similar to the Groupon.  I sold over 300 massages for half price and redeemed most of them before June.  It was a wild ride!  I met lots of interesting people, and gained many regular clients.  Although tiring, I'm glad I did it.  In the middle of my Groupon experience, I started feeling really tired. I started keeping a few hours every afternoon free so I could take naps.  I figured I was tired because of all the massages I was giving.  It turns out, I was pregnant!  
It's been a great experience for me to practice what I preach in my career as a therapist.
I always tell people to take care of themselves and to encourage self awareness of one's body and feelings, now I've had the best kind of opportunity to listen to my own body and discover my limits as my pregnancy progresses.  I'm amazed on a daily basis at this little growing child in my belly and how gentle we both are to each other as I do my best to pay attention to him and give him the nurturing he needs.  
     I'll work until December 10, then take a break for a while to nest and snuggle up with the newest addition to our family (due December 22nd). I plan on coming back in March to resume my work schedule on a part time basis.
     Until then, I hope to resume my blogging habit with a few posts now and then. 

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Rotator release!


This weekend I attended a class on releasing the rotator cuff.  A weakness in one of these muscles can cause pain in other areas of the shoulder, neck, arm or wrist.  To learn this subject, students practiced on each other.  We focused on locating each muscle and rocking the upper body to help relax the tight spots.  I was amazed at my shoulder's improved range of motion and how much better it felt after just one practice treatment.  If you experience pain around your shoulder, a few rotator cuff treatments might be beneficial; and to sweeten the deal, I will give you %30 off your first one!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Staying Sane this Season

This time of year, the to-do list just seems to get longer and longer!  How do we stay ahead of the game and  keep a calm attitude to enjoy the holiday cheer?  One day at a time.  Work on a little bit every day and remember to take care of yourself.  If you are worn out and trying to help others, how effective will you be?  Take some time to shut your eyes and clear your mind with a few deep breaths throughout the day.  Go to your special place.  You deserve it!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

it's all about choices

Drama.  An event familiar to me growing up with four sisters.  There was never a moment when one of us wasn't creating it and sweeping the rest of us up with them.  When emotions are tender, things seem more personal and life feels upside down.  Recently, a friend posted Facebook: "Can't life just be drama free?"  I commented "yes."  Of course you can live drama free!  Choose to refuse drama.  People can ruin their lives by taking everything personally.  You can choose to take things personally, or you can choose to shrug it off, send out blessings for a good day, and carry on.  We all have choices in life, and living drama free is one of them.